Comments on: Do online communities pretend to care? http://www.mediamum.net/2009/09/12/do-online-communities-pretend-to-care/ It's Aussie for Mom Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:39:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: kia http://www.mediamum.net/2009/09/12/do-online-communities-pretend-to-care/comment-page-1/#comment-160 kia Sun, 13 Sep 2009 01:38:52 +0000 http://mediamum.wordpress.com/?p=351#comment-160 I have offered condolences (and meant it) and expressed concern and congratulations for folks on twitter, but nothing too consuming. I consider myself a caring individual and suppose I like to keep the number of folks I follow low for this reason. I am still not sure of what my intention on Twitter is yet. So it may be more personal than what other folks use it for. I have had one intense online community experience. When I was prepping for my wedding I was on a wedding site and got to know several women from one board very well. One of them took a hiatus from the site to be with her fiance who was sick and had to travel for treatment. I kept in contact with her away from the online community. Her fiance passed during a surgery and I found myself stunned and crying real tears over her loss. Our online community rallied to form an account to help her or at least make a nice donation in her fiance's name to a cancer research organization. I had never met her. May never meet her. And I am fine with that. I still think the world of her and am still sad over her loss two years later. I don't know how caring affects the person going through the experience. I try to keep my personal situations offline and only for those I know in real life. I suppose I don't trust online communities with things that are emotional for me because of the rampant web rage and ignorance I know that is out there. I have offered condolences (and meant it) and expressed concern and congratulations for folks on twitter, but nothing too consuming. I consider myself a caring individual and suppose I like to keep the number of folks I follow low for this reason. I am still not sure of what my intention on Twitter is yet. So it may be more personal than what other folks use it for.
I have had one intense online community experience. When I was prepping for my wedding I was on a wedding site and got to know several women from one board very well. One of them took a hiatus from the site to be with her fiance who was sick and had to travel for treatment. I kept in contact with her away from the online community. Her fiance passed during a surgery and I found myself stunned and crying real tears over her loss. Our online community rallied to form an account to help her or at least make a nice donation in her fiance’s name to a cancer research organization. I had never met her. May never meet her. And I am fine with that. I still think the world of her and am still sad over her loss two years later.
I don’t know how caring affects the person going through the experience. I try to keep my personal situations offline and only for those I know in real life. I suppose I don’t trust online communities with things that are emotional for me because of the rampant web rage and ignorance I know that is out there.

]]> By: Jen http://www.mediamum.net/2009/09/12/do-online-communities-pretend-to-care/comment-page-1/#comment-159 Jen Sun, 13 Sep 2009 01:29:58 +0000 http://mediamum.wordpress.com/?p=351#comment-159 I'm a statistical outlier (LOL) because I do not "care" about things that happen to people I do not know. I mean, I care in an abstract, "Oh, that is not a good thing to happen to someone" way, but not in any kind of a direct way. This does not make me popular when tragedy strikes (i.e. Princess Diana, Sept. 11, etc.) it actually, sometimes, makes me look like an awful, unfeeling person...but I just don't understand caring - deeply and personally - about someone I have *no* connection to. I see it as similar to going to a stranger's funeral and crying very loudly - it's like borrowing someone else's grief, often without their permission. That being said I do believe most - if not all - people do truly care. Whether it is because they feel they are SUPPOSED to care (based on media coverage) and thus generate the emotion to care to match the input...or if it is a spontaneous and legitimate caring of spirit coming from that "we're all one person" point of view - or if they just enjoy depth of feeling and a tragedy is the best trigger - is impossible to truly know without knowing the individual in question well enough to know if they know themselves well enough to be able to answer honestly where that caring stems from. I don't know how to answer your specific questions, but I love that you're researching this! I’m a statistical outlier (LOL) because I do not “care” about things that happen to people I do not know. I mean, I care in an abstract, “Oh, that is not a good thing to happen to someone” way, but not in any kind of a direct way. This does not make me popular when tragedy strikes (i.e. Princess Diana, Sept. 11, etc.) it actually, sometimes, makes me look like an awful, unfeeling person…but I just don’t understand caring – deeply and personally – about someone I have *no* connection to. I see it as similar to going to a stranger’s funeral and crying very loudly – it’s like borrowing someone else’s grief, often without their permission.

That being said I do believe most – if not all – people do truly care. Whether it is because they feel they are SUPPOSED to care (based on media coverage) and thus generate the emotion to care to match the input…or if it is a spontaneous and legitimate caring of spirit coming from that “we’re all one person” point of view – or if they just enjoy depth of feeling and a tragedy is the best trigger – is impossible to truly know without knowing the individual in question well enough to know if they know themselves well enough to be able to answer honestly where that caring stems from.

I don’t know how to answer your specific questions, but I love that you’re researching this!

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