Things I don’t need to hear from my family

Conversations with my family are wonderful. I love the little chats had with the kids and the husband in passing as we all go about our daily business. Sometimes, though, the sentences that spill from the lips of the wonderful people who live in this house should never have been shared. I wish they never spake them (ooh, I said spake). Here are some examples:

1. “Mum, I can aim this gun really good, even without the scope!” (Images of the scene in Parenthood where Steve Martin is congratulating his son for his aim from the belltower flash before my eyes.)

2. “Next door had to get the pest guy. They think they have a rat.” (I do NOT want to know about this. Where do you think the rat will move next?)

3. “What did you do with my passport?” (Um, what? I don’t know what bothers me most – You losing your passport, or the fact you’re going to try pinning it on me? )

4. “I transferred $500 from your account to cover a bill.” (The account only had $400 in it, and it needed to last two weeks. ‘Nuff said.)

5. “How did parent teacher night go?” (At 8pm when I was supposed to be at parent teacher night at 6pm, and forgot all about it. I would rather have had the reminder at 5pm than the callout afterwards.)

Our dog ate my phone. And nobody stopped her.

6. “The dog has your phone.” (Really? You’re telling me this instead of grabbing the phone off her? Do you think the dog somehow should have my phone and you’re just checking in? The special part is the follow-up of “Why did you let the dog have your phone?” as if it was something I did on purpose.)

And the clincher:

7. “I don’t have any socks.” (This cloaked thing brings up numerous reactions in me. Depending upon my mood, the response will be “Who died and made that my problem?” “You have plenty of socks. Lying all over your room.” “If you brought your laundry basket upstairs this would not be an issue.” If it’s followed by asking me to go down to the basement and get a pair for the person, then stabbiness may ensue.)

Yep, gotta love the people in your household. Just wish that sometimes they wouldn’t talk.

2 comments

  • LMAO the dog has your phone!!!!! The socks thing… let me share my new favorite phrase – “That’s a bummer, what are planning to do about that?”

  • Just a correction: You use “Immaculate Conception” to dersicbe the conception of Jesus which is wrong. Actually the Immaculate Conception is a doctrine made infallible in the Catholic Church to dersicbe the sinless birth of Mary in preparation for her future as the mother of Jesus. The Immaculate Conception has nothing to do with the conception of Jesus. Your comment is good though.

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