I’m better than Gibbs. I only need three rules.

NCIS is a great show. I adore Leroy Gibbs. But as a leader, he is a little lacking. He has too many rules. I reckon you only need three.

All four of my children will tell you Mummy Rule Number One: Don’t stand on things with wheels. This rule came into being many years ago. Every time one of the kids has hurt themselves in any way resembling an encounter with a wheel-based object, I remind them of the rule. With a bit of a dance. And sometimes yelling.

When Max fell off a borrowed electric scooter flying downhill and broke his arm, which the doctor pushed back into position without anaesthetic before casting it up, I reminded him of the rule. I’m kind and loving as a mum that way.

@Mediamum @avismulhall The bunnies are watching you: on Twitpic
Bunny truth - thanks to @wheelyweb and @pistachiowrites

Rule number two is less well known, but still equally important. “Don’t make the school call me” covers everything from teenage pregnancy to doing homework to getting into class on time. It’s nicely abstract yet strangely pointed. It’s also a nice, individual thing to call out to the child as they go into class. Sorta sets you apart as a parent.

Rule number three has only just come into being this evening. “Don’t chase bunnies.” This rule has come about because Jet (the dog) decided to chase a bunny a week ago into a briar patch. Dog ended up somewhat bloody around the nose area, and has a big bump. Bunny is safe. Dog needs a vet checkup. I think, though, that the don’t chase bunnies rule is also wonderfully applicable to my sons. The further I keep them away from the playboy mansion the better. So don’t chase bunnies is now rule number three.

Of course, I don’t want them to chase real live little bunnies either. Because that would just be weird. And I don’t do weird.

So there you go. Three rules to live by. You’re welcome.

Disclaimer: @BZB on Twitter last night, “A mother can never be too cocky as she never knows when the school will call to say her child has ridden a motorbike thru the gym.” Wise words. Which actually is not breaking rule number one. Unless said child was standing on the motorbike, in which case I hope you got it on tape.

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